Delicia and Earl – "It helps to have similar interests"

Delicia: A friend told me about Nothing Personal Ads. She had met some pretty nice guys and had only been kidnapped once, so I thought I’d give it a try.

Earl: It’s hard to find people who share your interests. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Delicia, like me, had also served on the Trilateral Commission.

Delicia: From the very beginning, Earl has been honest and open with me. Most guys I’ve dated would never talk about their experiences of being abducted by space aliens.

Earl: Delicia is my true soul mate. I can’t imagine waking up in the pod with anyone else.

Phyllis and Lebrando – ". . .and she knows how to play bridge!"

Phyllis: After my husband of 48 years passed away, I never thought I’d fall in love again. Fall yes, but not in love.

Lebrando: How could I not answer a personal ad for someone who was into hip hop and Mahjong?

Phyllis: Labrando was one of many homeys who responded to my ad, but his messages stood out for their honesty and impeccable punctuation.

Lebrando: I’ve always wanted to date a stewardess – even a stewardess on the Spirit of St. Louis.

Phyllis: We started dating in August of 2004 – or was it September of 1958?

Lebrando: We’re both so lucky to have found each other. And to think I originally was searching the Internet for used stereo equipment.

Vince and Gabrielle – "Thank God she’ll believe anything"

Vince: I have a very busy life. I run a large corporation. I’m a board member for many companies and philanthropies. Plus I’m a loving husband and father. With Nothing Personal Ads, it was easy to meet Gabrielle and dozens of other beautiful young women who are willing to take me at my word when I say, “I’m seriously thinking about leaving my wife.”

Gabrielle: Chances are Vince will eventually dump me and stay with his wife, but I’ll never part with the mink stole he gave me.

Hershel: Call me shallow, but if a woman doesn’t have a nice body, it won’t matter if she has the personality of Minnie Pearl.

Loraine: I normally don’t like guys eye-balling me like I’m a piece of meat. But it’s different with Hershel. He makes me feel like his piece of meat.

Hershel: I’ve met women online before but mostly the kind you have to pay $2.99 a minute. It’s nice to finally meet a girl who never asks for my credit card number.

Loraine: When I first saw Hershel’s Nothing Personal ad, I suspected he was using a fake picture. Imagine my surprise when he turned out to be even more handsome in person.

Hershel: The key is to get to know each other. Even a small goiter is a lot to lay on someone the first time you sleep together.