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Online dating world, here I come! |
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MY
BASICS |
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I am a:
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Woman |
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Looking for
a:
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Mr. Right in shining armor |
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Interested
in:
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A long-term relationship lasting happily ever after |
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Age:
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24 |
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Location:
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Delusionville, Missouri |
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Height:
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Sky-high in anticipation of meeting my dream fella |
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Weight:
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Light
enough to be floating on Cloud Nine |
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Hair:
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Touched up by an
angel (Angel Mendoza, my hairdresser) |
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Eyes:
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Brown, but I wear rose-colored contacts |
| Occupation: |
Director of Cheerfulness, Up With People |
| Education: |
Mississippi U., majored in cheerleading |
| Ethnicity: |
Sicilian, (the friendly region - we invented the kiss
of death) |
| Religion: |
Chapel of Love |
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Star Sign: |
Capricorn, which is also my favorite salad
dressing |
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MORE
ABOUT ME |
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 Proudest
accomplishment
Walking across the country
three times to help raise money for the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Foundation
Last great book I read
"Katie Couric's Pointers for
Perkiness"
Music that puts me in the mood
Doris Day for washing my hair; Courtney Love for writing thank you notes
Favorite movie
"It's a Wonderful Life" It's still the best documentary ever made.
My perfect
getaway weekend
You and I in separate bedrooms at my Aunt Bette and Uncle Bob's house in Bloomington, Illinois. When their drinking is under control, they're just a hoot.
The five items I can't live without
948 stuffed animals; good luck rabbit's foot; rabbit allergy medicine; George W. Bush Inspirational Sentence Fragment-of-the-Day calendar; electric massager (you won't believe what some women do with these things!)
Turn
ons
Guys who respect my celibacy; the letter 'I' dotted with a happy face; ribs bulging underneath an "Up With People" red vest;
helping me onto a ride at Disneyland
Turn
offs
People who over-hug at Celibacy Support meetings; not being asked if I "want fries with that;" anatomically-correct Halloween costumes;
guys who flirt with Snow White at Disneyland |
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EVEN
MORE ABOUT ME
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Hi guys! This is my first personal ad, and I am so excited! I've heard some creepy things about online dating, but I believe in the goodness of all people. So what's the worst that could happen? My friends say I'm overflowing with optimism. You might say I'm a glass-and-a-half-full kind of gal. I've had a number of boy friends since my sorority days in junior high school, but I feel I'm now ready to meet that one true love of my life. I'm willing to do what it takes, even if it means going out with two or three guys before I meet Mr. Right. I should also mention I'm a virgin, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun for the six years we'll be courting. |
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WHAT
I'M LOOKING FOR
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I'd love to meet a guy who is tall, handsome, intelligent, funny, optimistic, confident of himself, and kind to his family and friends. Don't worry if you possess none of these qualities. My church sponsors a class that will reprogram you in three workshops (four if you want to switch from gay to straight). |
