Classy gal seeks "successful" man for spiritual and financial fulfillment

MY BASICS
I am a:

Woman
Looking for a:

Gentleman willing to spend some money on a lady
Interested in:

Serious relationship (with at least a house & new car), friendship (with at least jewelry & Atlantic city weekends), one-night stand (with at least dinner & cab fare)
Age:

43
Location:

Leechville, Tennessee

Height:

5'2" bare feet, 5'11" in heels

Weight:

Proportionate to height after my final liposuction procedure

Hair:

Blond (all over)

Eyes:

Good enough to spot a big spender or a cheapskate
Body type:

Stretched, tucked, and implanted
Tattoos:

Barely visible in a strapless gown
Occupation:

Semi-retired Jayne Mansfield impersonator
Education:

High school GED (valedictorian)
Ethnicity:

English, from the classy part
Religion:

Orthodox Pagan
Star Sign:

Libra. In a previous life I was a librarian

MORE ABOUT ME 

Proudest accomplishment
Accidentally having my picture taken with George Hamilton and a group of Japanese businessmen. It's my proudest possession

Last great book I read
 I don't have time to read books. I only read menus from expensive restaurants and price tags at Saks Fifth Avenue.

Music that puts me in the mood
 Elevator music at the Ritz Carlton

Favorite movie
 "Pretty Woman." It shows what you can accomplish with determination and sleeping with the right people.

My perfect getaway weekend
You, me, and your platinum card. Or, if you can't make it, me and your platinum card.

The five items I can't live without
 Your gold card, your ATM card, your Wal-Mart card, your Capital Grille card, your Fast Lane pass

Turn ons
 Free mini bar, receiving jewelry that wasn't purchased out of the trunk of a car, the overpowering smell of cologne, sitting on your wife's bidet

Turn offs
Mistakenly being arrested for solicitation, being asked to leave before putting on my underwear, breaking up with my plastic surgeon boyfriend, having my breast implants repossessed

EVEN MORE ABOUT ME

I'm a traditional woman. Kind of like Angie Dickinson in "Oceans Eleven." I won't settle for anything less than first class. I'm smart, and can talk about politics (I think Martin Sheen is the best president we've had since Reagan), art (I have an entire Beanie Baby collection), and theater (I've seen "Disney on Ice" 20 times). I expect to be treated like a lady. Don't even think of dropping me off at the corner if you're not going to lend me your umbrella.

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR

I'd like to meet a successful man. I define "successful" as someone who makes enough money to spend lots of it on me. Also, if you like what you do for a living and find it rewarding, that's OK with me. I like a guy who takes care of himself. But if you're super rich I can live with a potbelly and angina attacks. You don't have to call all the time, but I like men who do the little things like buying me flowers or helping me get my electric and phone service turned back on. Since I have an active social life, you shouldn't be possessive or jealous. Receiving a threatening call from one of my ex-lovers doesn't necessarily mean he's going to act on it. NO MARRIED MEN, unless your wife doesn't understand you.