Dating machine currently has openings for spring and fall 2006

MY BASICS
I am a:

Man
Looking for a:

Woman
Interested in:

A long-term relationship lasting at least until breakfast
Age:

26
Location:

Libido, Illinois
Height:

Tall enough to check you out across a crowded room
Weight:

175 lbs naked, 175.012 lbs wearing condom
Hair:

Cut for conquests
Penis  Cut for conquests
Eyes:

Appearing to pay attention to you while checking out my next "meaningful" relationship
Occupation:

Freelance scientific test subject
Education:

Associate degree, Masters and Johnson Community College
Ethnicity:

Roman hands, French tongue
Religion:

Church of Perpetual Arousal
Star Sign:  Hey, that's my line.

MORE ABOUT ME 

 Proudest accomplishment
Having an examination room at a free clinic named after me

 Last great book I read
Karma Sutra for Dummies

 Music that puts me in the mood
The theme from the Viagra commercial

 Favorite movie
 "American Gigolo" And they say patriotism is dead!

 My perfect getaway weekend
 A whole weekend? Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

 The five items I can't live without
"Erogenous Zones Quick Reference Guide"; my combination clock/radio/roach motel; penicillin patch; lonely divorcees on the rebound; a good excuse to leave after sex

 Turn ons
 Inhibitions being weakened by alcohol; finding out your husband is out of town; stealing glances at Sexoholics Anonymous meetings; the mention of "breast" in any context

 Turn offs
Being asked to leave after suggesting a threesome with a roommate; your husband unexpectedly arriving early; people who don't tell me they're transvestites until after I've bought them a drink; people who Google my arrest record

EVEN MORE ABOUT ME

I'm just an ordinary guy who likes to go out 10 or 15 times a week. My friends say the high number of women I date means I have a problem with intimacy. I disagree. During sex, it never takes me more than three attempts to scream out the correct name. I believe in treating women with dignity and respect. Whether it's exchanging smiles in a checkout line or dry humping under the stars behind a nightclub dumpster, my dates always leave with their self-esteem and underwear intact.

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR

I want to meet a woman who is willing to make a long-term commitment. Right now, I have openings for Tuesday, May 10, 2006 from 7-8 P.M. and Friday, September 23, 2006 from 9-11 P.M. I like to do a variety of things, but I'm guessing the evening will end either on my couch, in your bedroom, or in a public restroom stall. I'll be more than happy to pay for the evening, but if I'm unemployed at the time, donations can be made to my PayPal account.