 |
Dating machine currently has openings for
spring
and fall 2006 |
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MY
BASICS |
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I am a:
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Man |
|
Looking for
a:
|
Woman |
|
Interested
in:
|
A long-term
relationship lasting at least until breakfast |
|
Age:
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26 |
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Location:
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Libido, Illinois |
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Height:
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Tall enough to check you out across a crowded room |
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Weight:
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175 lbs naked, 175.012 lbs wearing condom |
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Hair:
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Cut for conquests |
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Penis
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Cut for conquests |
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Eyes:
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Appearing to pay attention to you while checking out my next "meaningful" relationship |
| Occupation: |
Freelance scientific test subject |
| Education: |
Associate degree, Masters and Johnson Community College |
| Ethnicity: |
Roman hands, French tongue |
| Religion: |
Church of Perpetual Arousal |
|
Star Sign: |
Hey, that's my line. |
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MORE
ABOUT ME |
|
 Proudest
accomplishment
Having an examination room at a free clinic named after
me
Last great book I read
Karma Sutra for Dummies
Music that puts me in the mood
The theme from the
Viagra commercial
Favorite movie
"American Gigolo" And they say patriotism is dead!
My perfect
getaway weekend
A whole weekend? Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
The five items I can't live without
"Erogenous Zones Quick Reference Guide"; my combination clock/radio/roach motel; penicillin patch; lonely divorcees on the rebound; a good excuse to leave after sex
Turn
ons
Inhibitions being weakened by alcohol; finding out your husband is out of town; stealing glances at Sexoholics Anonymous meetings; the mention of "breast" in any context
Turn
offs
Being asked to leave after suggesting a threesome with a roommate; your husband unexpectedly arriving early;
people who don't tell
me they're transvestites until after I've bought them a drink; people who Google my arrest record |
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EVEN
MORE ABOUT ME
|
|
I'm just an ordinary guy who likes to go out 10 or 15 times a week. My friends say the high number of women I date means I have a problem with intimacy. I disagree. During sex, it never takes me more than three attempts to scream out the correct name. I believe in treating women with dignity and respect. Whether it's exchanging smiles in a checkout line or dry humping under the stars behind a nightclub dumpster, my dates always leave with their self-esteem and underwear intact. |
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WHAT
I'M LOOKING FOR
|
|
I want to meet a woman who is willing to make a long-term commitment. Right now, I have openings for Tuesday, May 10,
2006 from 7-8 P.M. and Friday, September 23, 2006 from 9-11 P.M. I like to do a variety of things, but I'm guessing the evening will end either on my couch, in your bedroom, or in a public restroom stall. I'll be more than happy to pay for the evening, but if I'm unemployed at the time, donations can be made to my PayPal account. |
