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Hopeless romantic seeks soul mate to share honesty, commitment, and head butts |
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MY
BASICS |
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I am a:
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Man |
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Looking for
a:
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Man |
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Interested
in:
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A long-term relationship, short-term
relationship, best two out of three rounds wrestling match |
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Age:
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27 |
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Location:
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Testostertown, Tennessee |
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Height:
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5’
6" |
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Width:
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6'
5" |
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Weight:
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175 lbs when I wake up, 220 lbs after I take my growth hormones |
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Hair:
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Tingling |
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Eyes:
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Locked in a crazed stare since 1997 |
| Grunt |
50 decibels while lifting weights, 75 decibels while making love |
| Occupation: |
Phone support for
off-shore steroid company |
| Education: |
Majored in squat thrusts, graduated with high blood pressure |
| Ethnicity: |
Aerobian |
| Religion: |
Church of Latter Day Satan. Feel the burn! |
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Star Sign: |
Raging Taurus |
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MORE
ABOUT ME |
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 Proudest
accomplishment
Not losing my train of thought while being struck by
lightning
Last great book I read
Men Are From Mars, Men Are From Mars
Music that puts me in the mood
Ted Nugent for naked Bungee jumping, Neil Diamond for relaxing in intensive care
Favorite movie
Gone With the Wind Sprints
My perfect
getaway weekend
You, me, and a stack of Billy Blanks Tae Bo DVDs
The five items I can't live without
Primal Scream-of-the-Day calendar, Hannibal Lecter jock straps, Shouts of encouragement from my spotter, Daily 20-egg breakfast drink, Cholesterol medicine
Turn
ons
Licking high-protein soy latte shakes off a chiseled bicep, The sound of a hamstring stretching, Mud wrestling to an old Cole Porter tune, Being told to “Go for it!”
Turn
offs
Body fat that exceeds .3 percent, People who sleep more than one hour a day, Men incapable of public displays of aggression, Being told “Don’t go for it!” |
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EVEN
MORE ABOUT ME
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If you’re looking for a guy who lives life to the fullest, I’m your man. I
never let things like negativity or oncoming vehicles stop me. My motto is: Who has time for a motto? I’m up for anything; whether it’s knocking back a few beers with my ADD support group or practicing the breaststroke in a mosh pit. I also like to take long walks on my treadmill. |
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WHAT
I'M LOOKING FOR
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Basically, I’m looking for someone who is pumped when I’m pumped, psyched when I’m psyched, and stoked when I’m stoked. Unfortunately, my last boyfriend was always psyched when I was pumped, stoked when I was psyched, and pumped when I was stoked. Are you ready to give 150 percent to your next
relationship? If so, BRING IT ON!!! |
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