Top Signs Your Date Isn’t Going Well

She asks the busboy for his phone number.

He keeps spitting olive pits into your cleavage.

Men keep approaching her and saying, “Honey, you’re the best!”

He nervously starts rolling two steel ball bearings in his hand.

She asks you to name your favorite fungus.

What you thought, from a distance, was a birthmark is actually a swastika.

She asks if you’d mind swinging by her ex husband’s place so she can key his car.

He introduces you to his five best friends -- and there's no one around.

Just when you’re ready to make your move, she goes into labor.

Just when you’re about to go into labor, he makes his move.

You can’t stop focusing on the fact that she has more piercings than teeth.

The bartender asks him, “The usual?” Then hands him some Viagra.

A chance meeting with her friend finds you being introduced as “no one in particular.”

Her deodorant stopped working in 1986.

His cologne started working in 1986.