Ridiculous Lines Men Use That Women Actually Believe

I would’ve called but my lockjaw was acting up.

What’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a flatulence clinic like this?

Hey, if I was really drunk, I would’ve barfed on your shoes, too.

I swear, once my wife and I return from our honeymoon, I’m telling her the marriage is over.

I’m being unfaithful? Any medical expert will tell you that the Heimlich maneuver always works better if both people are naked.

Make up your mind! Should I try to get to know your family better, or should I stop sleeping with your sister?

Would you like to check out the Gloria Steinem fall collection at Victoria's Secret?

I heard you ran into my identical twin brother working at McDonald’s.

I think going to the orgy will strengthen our relationship.

Are you sure you don’t want to go to the football game? I heard the halftime show is going to be about feelings.

Would you like to visit the motel room where I discovered Christ?

If you think we getting married is more important than my finding a cure for cancer, then by all means let’s do it.

Excuse me, Ms. Roberts, but I just loved you in “Pretty Woman.”

Actually, I used to drive a Jaguar until I found out the Ford Escort had more legroom.

My designated driver will back me up on this: You are hot!