Advice from a Woman's Perspective

Having your fill of Dr. Phil

Dear Madison,

I am hopelessly obsessed with Dr. Phil. There's something so sexy about a man who dedicates his life to helping celebrities and other people when time allows.

Lately, I've had crazy thoughts about leaving my husband and children, heading for Hollywood, and offering to have his baby. I've tried fantasizing about a bald Dr. Joyce Brothers but it's just not the same. What should I do?

Worked up in Wyoming

Dear Worked,

Women frequently become infatuated with men in authority. I can tell you firsthand, however, television stars rarely live up to their on-air personas. If so, Eric Sevareid licking Jell-O shots off my firm young buttocks would have marked the beginning of a long and profound relationship.

There is nothing unusual about desiring the unattainable, but keep things in perspective. You have a husband and children who love you. And most of all, be thankful you have been spared the image of a queasy Dr. Phil bellowing from his porcelain throne "Dang it Robin, this chili is going through me like a manic depressive steer on a three-state cattle drive!"

Madison O'Rourke chairs the Spiritual Development department at the Learning Annex in Fort Worth, Texas. She is also the host of the cable-access cooking show, "Mexican Cuisine the O'Rourke Way."