Ask Joy About Cyber Sex

Making sure he’s just your type

Dear Joy,

Recently, my cyber-sex partner, Sir Stud-alot (not his real name), asked if I would be interested in experimenting with different fonts. He even suggested we use a new one called Courier In Ives.

Joy, I’m no prude. In college, my roommate and I briefly corresponded with Palatino Linotype, but it was just a phase. It's not like I’ve never fantasized about being ravaged in 12-point Albertus Extra Bold, but my bigger concern is: How well do I really know this man? I want to please him, but I need to feel safe with him before I can let him describe his throbbing member in italicized Century Gothic.

Underlined in Albany

Dear Underlined,

I'd be lying if I said point size doesn't matter, but it doesn't mean you should be pressured into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. My first cyber lover was a wonderful man (I think). I was insecure about my body, and felt uncomfortable describing myself naked in anything sans serif. But even though he craved to read about my heaving bosom in Boudini bold, he never failed to say how roused he got reading about my rack in Times New Roman. I knew he was just trying to make me feel better about myself, and that made me want him even more.

You should also keep in mind that your lover’s sudden interest in fonts may be due to shyness on his part. As wild and adventurous as he may seem, he may also be a bit nervous about using a Wingding to talk up his big thing -- particularly if he’s only 13 and worrying about getting caught using the family computer.

Joy Billington has been addicted to cyber sex since 1997. She has been a licensed psychotherapist in 12 states. Pending an investigation by the Arkansas Board of Medical Standards and Practices, she is based in Guadalajara, Mexico.