Straight Talk from a Straight Guy's Perspective

Viewing what comes naturally

Dear Glenn,

I've been dating a great gal for three months. Doreen is everything a guy could want in a woman: beauty -- she was once mistaken for a Hustler model, brains, and a good enough personality. She shares my interest in football, hockey, NASCAR, and attending Polish sausage festivals.

But there is one problem: Every time we go out, she always accuses me of staring at other woman. What am I supposed to do if a foxy babe crosses my line of vision? Pretend she doesn't exit?

Perplexed in Poughkeepsie

Dear Perplexed,

Wake up and smell the 21st century! Doreen just wants to be treated with respect. If you're going to eyeball a waitress, is it asking too much to pretend you're watching the TV over the bar? Would it kill you to wait for Doreen to look the other way before you wink at your hostess?

No woman likes to be ignored. If you're going to flirt with a Hooter's girl in front of your girlfriend, at least have the decency to pretend to be talking about existentialism.

Believe it or not, lavishing your girlfriend with attention can have its advantages: you can check out the rest of the room by staring at the reflection in her eyes.

Glenn Buckout has been an assistant relationship coach for ten years under the tutelage of legendary relationship head coach Bernard "Chaw" LeTossey.