Ask Joy About Cyber Sex

Keypad caresses from a typing titan. Joy Billington explains how to turn your fingers into "Virtual Viagra.

Joy Billington has been addicted to cyber sex since 1997. She has been a licensed psychotherapist in 12 states. Pending an investigation by the Arkansas Board of Medical Standards and Practices, she is based in Guadalajara, Mexico.

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Dear Joy,

I've been cyber-sexually involved with Ralph for three wonderful months. We met in a Pentecostals for Porn chatroom, so I'm confident he's not just some pervert looking for a good time. Lately, however, I've noticed that our cyber lovemaking sessions are shorter and end abruptly. Could Ralph be losing interest in me?

Wendy, Webtonia

Wendy,

There are many reasons why people have trouble making cyber love for long periods of time -- for example, getting caught by a spouse or loved one while pantingly pecking away -- so don't take it personally.

Talk to Ralph about it. If he's tentative about opening up to you, try recommending my new book "'Porno Pirates Hijacked My Keyboard!' and 101 Other Face-Saving Excuses."

Dear Joy,

I've been involved cybersesxually with Kathy for the past six months. The depth and passion of our relationship are beyond description. Recently, however, "Kathy" has hinted about bringing a third person into the mix. I agreed reluctantly. But imagine my surprise when I found out the person she had in mind was actually my other on-screen persona, Raul -- who she doesn't know is me.

I admit the thought of two of me having cybersex with her is intriguing -- not to mention downright exciting. But here's my problem: I only type 15 words a minute. I'll never keep up. What should I do? 

Al, Cyberland

Al,

I once was involved in a 20-person cyber orgy. It turned out the 19 other people were actually a Methodist minister from Iowa. By the end of the evening he was repeatedly and exhaustingly typing "Me too!"

Unless you want to increase your typing speed by gettin' jiggy with Mavis Bacon, you may have to come clean with Kathy. Even when two people are involved in a relationship based on fantasy and totally unrealistic expectations, honesty is sometimes still the best policy.