Straight Talk from a Straight Guy's Perspective

Straight talk from a straight guy's perspective.

Glenn Buckout has been an assistant relationship coach for ten years under the tutelage of legendary relationship head coach Bernard "Chaw" LeTossey. 

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Dear Glenn,

I have been dating a great guy for about 9 months now. I have met his parents before on previous occasions on weekends but my boyfriend just invited me to spend the Christmas holidays with his entire family. Would this suggest that he is getting more serious or should I not read into it at all and get my hopes up? I am in love with him but he has yet to say the "L" word to me. He has stated before that he is an "actions speak louder than words" type of person.

Elizabeth

Elizabeth,

I realize “The L Word” is a popular show for many woman of a particular persuasion, but why is it important for your guy to acknowledge a TV program on Showtime about lesbians? Believe me, he probably gets enough of that stuff on the Spice Channel without having to listen to a lot of talk about feelings.

I don’t have to tell you that men don’t like talking about their feelings. So inviting you to spend a major holiday with his family is a big step for him. I once dated a girl for three years before I took her home to meet my folks on Flag Day.

On the other hand, taking you home to meet his family on Christmas could be his way of letting you down easy if you are an Orthodox Jew. If so, there will be no place like Shlomo for the Holidays this year.

Accept his invitation as an important unspoken gesture. He may not say the "L" word, but for guys, love means putting your future spouse through the torture of meeting her future dysfunctional in-laws – all at once, in close quarters, and while under the influence of alcohol.

Hi Glenn,

I don’t know if this is a real advice column but here goes: I recently met a woman, and we’ve been dating for a few weeks. I’m not even sure this is a relationship yet, but the other night she suggested we get into couples counseling “to help nurture our relationship.” Isn’t that jumping the gun? 

Tom, Cyberland 

Tom,

Women usually start thinking about relationships before men -- usually after their Google checks have come up clean. But why spray a relationship for bugs if you haven’t seen any spiders? If she feels both of you need to see a shrink at this point, how is she going to feel when she discovers you critiquing the latest Paris Hilton video on your computer?

There are legitimate reasons for seeking psychological counseling. There are also appropriate times for grabbing your crotch and saying “Analyze this!”

Dear Glenn,

I met a girl a few weeks ago and we seemed to hit it off -- at first. Lately though, she's been calling me all the time to talk about things I could care less about, like where she went shopping and her family. I don't want to totally break things off with her, but how do I get her to stop calling me all the time without hurting her feelings?

Dan, Cleveland 

Dan,

Communication is essential for any good relationship, so you don't want to totally shut her off. When she calls, keep changing the subject to something you're interested in. Ask her something like, "Did you see that great hit on Peyton Manning?" (And make sure you say "great hit" and not "great ass.") Chances are she'll remember she has something else to do and end the call. This allows you to be communicative without having to actually talk to her. Could a guy ask for anything more than that?