Dating in a Downsizing World
By Dakin Fumbler
Finding a mate during normal economic times is never easy. Finding Mr. or Ms. Right during recessionary times is even harder. It’s no consolation that all the good ones are still married – and now in the unemployment line.
Don’t despair! Create your own dating bailout program. Here are just a few ideas to get you started.
Downsize your expectations. You'd be surprised how many captains of industry now live in their parents' basement.
Find less expensive ways to entertain. If you could sell worthless securities when you were the Junk Bond King, you can certainly sell your date on an evening of dumpster diving behind McDonalds.
Revise your personal ad. No one will believe you own a fleet of expensive foreign cars during these tough economic times. But they might believe you own a Sam’s card.
Don’t waste money on expensive personal ads. There are countless women on Craigslist willing to throw in an ex-husband with a used futon or dinette set.
Work with what you’ve got – part 1. Studies have shown that women will date a man for months before realizing he is not “portraying” a hobo in a one-man show.
Work with what you’ve got – part 2. Studies have shown that women will date a man for months as long as he keeps screaming, “Damn you, Bernie Madoff!”
Seek out romance in unexpected places. Please note, however, Kinkos doesn’t allow naked people to sit on its copiers.
Don’t sell yourself short – part 1. You haven’t been forced to survive by selling soda cans retrieved from trash receptacles; you’re the next wave of green entrepreneurs!
Don’t sell yourself short – part 2. You’re not a pathetic cougar; you’re a fiftyish woman who forget her glasses one night and accidentally had sex in the back of a car with the captain of the junior high chess team.
Don’t sell the transgender community short. At the very least, you’ll have one hell of a story to tell your grandkids.
In the end, your character, integrity, and principles may prevent you from lowering your standards simply for companionship. Don’t feel you have to compromise. There will always be someone willing to lower their standards to be with you.
Dakin Fumbler once built a railroad, made it run, made it race against time.